Chapter 1 Index Chapter 3

Subject:      CODY: RAW FILES, Chapter 2
From:         mithryl@walrus.com (Mithryl)
Date:         1997/04/05
Message-Id:   <5i44sv$m45@alice.walrus.com>
Newsgroups:   alt.sex.bondage,alt.sex.stories,rec.arts.prose

                            RAW FILES

                      By CODY ANN MICHAELS
                    (c.) All rights reserved

                            Chapter 2

	In those days, I tried to arrange my email by writer.  But it was
hard to keep things straight.  The next writer in the file was Sammy. 

To: mask <mask@net23.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sex.bondage,alt.personals.bondage
Subject: Re: Cody: Female Sub

Well....I would like to write you about it first....I am also in
college....I am 6'2, brown hair, blue eyes, 175 lbs....I am a soph.
majoring in Psych. and planning on going into law....E-mail me...Sammy>>>>>>

	I must have wanted it bad, if that's all he wrote to turn me on. 
I wrote in reply: 

Dear Sammy,

	Thanks for your note.  I'm not exactly sure what I'm getting into,
but like I said in the ad, I have a lot of fantasies.  It seems I've
always had them, about being captured and held helpless while a man or men
do things to me.  At first, it was just fuc king me.  But later, when I
found out I could get all the men I wanted, I began to dream up really
terrible stuff.  For instance, a guy takes me to a bar in a rundown part
of town and forces me to strip in front of all the other customers.  I do
it not so much because I'm afraid he will hurt me.  I know he'll do that. 
But because I deserve it.  At least that's what I fantasize.  That I'm a
really disgusting cheap slut underneath the pretty college girl facade. 
(I was going to Fashion Institute of Techno logy then.) 

	I also like to imagine being slapped around and even beaten up
badly.  I like to watch wrestling and imagine I'm the one who's being
beaten up, only I'm myself, a pretty young woman, and the guy is literally
wiping up the ring with me.  I've asked some of the guys I go out with to
do this, I mean pretend to, but none will.  They claim no one would ever
hurt someone like me.

	Well, that will give you some idea.  Oh, I'm five foot seven
inches tall and weigh 125 pounds.  And I have green eyes.  And I think I
said I had long red hair.  And my breasts are 44DD.  If that's any
help.>>>>>>

	Is this getting repetitious?

                                *
	
	Hey....It's Sammy....Well, that is some pretty brutal
stuff....Where do you go to college??? Here at GA Southern, I have a place
I could take you called Blind Willie's....It is pretty sleazy....I could
make your fantasy, somewhat, come true....There is s omething about
hurting ladies that keeps us guys out of jail....Mainly called a
conscience, so I couldn't hurt you for real....Maybe, more like just
acting it out would be great....Cody, you sound like a beautiful girl and
that is something that you shoul dn't jeorpardize in the pro wrestling
circuit....How about a nice dinner and come back home to have a rough and
great session of unbridaled sex....Sammy>>>>>>

	Oh yeah.  Blind Willie's.  Now I begin to remember.  "a rough and
great session of unbridaled sex."  No.  I was no bride.  Couldn't hurt me. 
Conscience.  Don't jeopardize... should have listened.  I felt like a
truck hit me.  Ashley climbed up on the ro pes and balanced there.  And
then she came down right on top of me.  I felt her arm across my neck. 
Don't... 

	So you want to wrestle.  No.  I...  Sure you do, sugar.  Don't she
boys?  In that shiny silver dress.  Those long legs.  Black stockings. 
High heels.  Just made for wrestling.  Slap.  Back hand.  Across the face. 
The girl's a cunt.  We diced her. 

Harv Warlock:  

E-mail me back if you are serious about the fantasies. I might be able to
help you out with it.  Harv>>>>>>

Yes, Harv, I am serious about what I wrote.  I'm not exactly sure why but
it seems that ever since I was a little girl, I've thought about being
etc., etc. 

From dragon:

Hi Cody. :)

I never answered anything in a newsgroup before, but I have been reading
A.S.B. for a while and I thought I'd give you a shot. I am a senior in
College and I'm a pro photographer/photojournalist here in D.C. I'm
interested in you lots and if you'd like to know more, please email me
back at this address. :) 

I'm sure you got a million replies, but if you really want to have an
interested guy in actually trying to help you act out your fantasies, I
may be it. I've been looking for something like this for a long time. I
guess that this is why i'm actually ans wering you. :)>>>>>>>

	I love the tentative way guys answer an ad ISO a psychotic sadist. 

From SummusDom

Cody,

After you sort through the hundreds of responses you get, I'd be
interested in communicating with you.  E-mail me.>>>>>>>>

From thunder
To: mask@net23.com
Subject: staged rape volunteer

Well, Cody, Im not sure if your screening the replies to your news-mail
but I am officially declaring my interest in your offer. I hope Im not too
young for you. Im only 18.5 but I have a few years experience under my
belt. We could have a good time. EMAI L me back if you're
interested.>>>>>>

	A lot of these guys were college kids.  I wonder where they are
now.  I could fix a lot of fuckers.  For what they did to me and my kid. 
I never thought they'd take her.  I thought it was just me.  They wanted. 
I told the cops everything.  I gave them the tapes.  And the letters.  I
just hope they nail those suckers.  Some people thought I was a cop.  I
was just me in search of a persona.  A mask.  That was a long time ago.  I
swore I'd get them.  I ended up in special services.  You know: tough,
resil ent, independent.  But also definitely aware of who's toes not to
step on.  Eventually, I became head of security.  Now things got really
tight.  I just wanted to find my daughter and get out of there.  Street
had been a beautiful child when I last saw he r.  I wondered, what would
she look like now.  Yes.  That's her.  Makes a nice target, doesn't she? 

	I've got to think of realities.  Like, what is this?  Where am I? 
For that matter, who am I?  Felony Grep.  It says on my ID.  The badge
clipped to my vest.  Tall, lean, with a shock of red hair going in all
directions out of the top of my head.  I didn 't always look like this. 
But by now, I can't remember.  That was a long time ago.  Maybe back in
Georgia.  Blind Willies.  They hadn't seen a woman like that in there in
ages.  Wearing black leather.  A white suit.  High heels.  Stockings. 
Black gloves .  Packing a gun.  State police.  Special Patrol.  The guys
looked her over.  She felt cheap.  What was she doing there?  Looking for
information.  A guy out at the plant had tipped her off.  Think you could
take her? 

Ron -- (I'm just reading these):

Cody,

Three words: WHY, WHY, WHY?
Please be careful, girl.
An ad like that, if it's real, is going to attract a lot of vermin.
Please be careful.

Ron>>>>>>>
 
	Oh, I know Ron.  But that's who I'm looking for.

	The fact is, I'm really not like this, or I want to believe that,
that I'm really in control of my life, but then the other side of me knows
that it's real.  She is.  So my shrink said why not see what happens if
you give her a safe place to play, lik e the internet.  She can get the
shit kicked out of her all over the net and it won't matter.  It's better
than doing it in the basement of a bar.  And six guys doing it to you. 

	Thanks for your concern, though.

	Love,

	Cody

	But it didn't work out that way, did it, Liz?  It wasn't safe, was
it?  You knew it wouldn't be, didn't you?  After all, you wrote the book
on voo doo, didn't you?  About empaths, and what happens to them, when
they read what they see.  You knew what the y'd do to me.  Or maybe you
didn't.  Maybe you wanted to see.  Get off on the dreams.  The stories. 
Watch my face as I went down for the third time. 

Cody,
To make sure you are sincere, you must call me and talk to me.
(xxxxxxxxxxxx. Collect is fine. Obey this and your fantacies will be
taken care of in ways that scare the shit out of you, but are still
safe... well kind of (you may find yourself wanting the real thing)

Lord Rider>>>>>>>>

Hello ... I am a 40 year old Dom male in PA who is interested in
discussing with you the possibility of acting out your fantasies.>>>>>>>

Cody,

You will be barraged with responses to this post.  There are any number of
people who read here that can supply your fantasy needs.  Please feel free
to write me if you'd like, im not psychotic, nor interested in
non-consentual contact in real life. 

Mike>>>>>>>>>

	Sigh.  Yes, Mike.  But where are they now?  Those I wanted to
destroy me?  Dark, willing perverts, ready to take me down. 
Nonconsentually.  I mean, come on, Mike.  If it's not real, what is it?  I
want to be really hammared.  Squished.  Broken.  Stepped on.  Kicked down
the hall and shared round the dorm.  Do it, Mike. Do it.  I don't want to
write any more of this political bullshit.  Make me a whore.  I'll do
anything.  Just ask.  I actually wrote that.  I was so crazy for the guy. 
And this was just one letter.  Out of thousands. 

im interested  and would like to treat you like you deserve .
email me how to contact you

frank>>>>>>

	Oh god, yes.  Come for me Frank.  Do it.  Do it the way you spell. 
Do it in ebonics.  Yeah, man.  Oh yes.  Ebonic be where it's at.  aaaaaah. 

	No wonder they don't teach it in schools.  Margaret Hamilton would
have a fit.  Or whoever it was who played the teacher.  In that Judy
Garland movie, where Judy showed them how to do it.  Slap. 

	Smart ass broad.  I hate smart women.  Like Kate Hepburn.  A face
meant for slapping.  Philadelphia Story.  Front Page.  Whatever.  Just sit
there and keep your mouth shut. 

	It's sort of fun to read through old love letters.  I'm glad I
kept these around.  They bring back memories.  Here's one. 

Cody,

Perhaps I can help you.  In order that I might learn more about you, I
want you to answer the questions below.  This is a prepared questionare,
so there is an introductory paragraph that doesn't apply...just skip it,
and answer the questions.  I look forw ard to hearing from you soon. 

I am a SWM, age 35, who is willing to consider accepting you as an e-mail
sub. In order that I may know enough about you to make a judgement, I'd
like you to start out by sitting down and giving me your best answers to
the following questions: 

1. Give a *very* detailed description of your nude body. This should
include your weight, height, measurements and bra cup size, as well as the
length and... 

	O yeah.  Questionaire.  I got a lot of those.  I used to hate
them.  But now...  Why not?  This should include weight, height...  color
of your hair. I then want you to describe your body in such terms as to
provide me a "picture" of you standing nude be fore me. 

	You can see why this never went anywhere, with all those letters
pouring in, I had time for this?  But now?  Let's face it, I'm washed up. 
Anything to jumpstart my career.  A "very detailed description of my nude
body."  I have a mole on my left cheek a nd a butterfly on my right ass. 
I am five seven.  You already knew that.  Long red curly hair.  Not
anymore.  I cut it short.  Now it sticks up in all directions around my
head.  Tons of earrings.  Green eyes.  Very kissable mouth.  Pretty. 

	Weight: 126.  I'm getting fat.  Bra size: 48HHHH.  Big nipples
that stick up from my round tits.  25, 36.  I'm getting older.  Felony is
26 now.  I'm having trouble with Felony.  Trying to place her in a
setting.  It's Street whose young.  Who he wrote t o.  Asked her to meet
him.  I read the questionaire. 

2. Give me a brief sexual history of yourself. It should include answers
to these questions: 

* How old were you when you had your first sexual experience? 
	She told him fourteen.  She wasn't even twelve.  Oh my god.

Describe it to the best of your memory.

	I couldn't believe my daughter was writing this.  What a filthy
mind.  Where did she get these ideas? 

* Do you consider yourself hetero, lesbian or bisexual?

	Mercifully, she said she liked boys.

* Have you ever had a sexual experience with another woman? When was the
last time? Describe it. 

	My skin went ice cold as I read what she wrote.  No.  I told
myself.  It wasn't that way.  I didn't... 

* Do you now, or have you ever masturbated? If you currently masturbate on
a regular basis, about how often do you masturbate? 

	What a filthy, filthy mind.  A sick depraved mind.  Of course, she
did not masturbate.  She asked him what it was. 

* If you masturbate, do you use toys? List the toys you have.

	I could see whe was getting lost.  She told him about her dolls. 
She had a ton of Barbies. 

* Have you had anal sex? If so, when was the most recent instance?

	She didn't know what anal meant either.  I imagine he must have
gone crazy when he read that.  She was so innocent.  And dumb. 

* Do you ever masturbate anally? If so, when was the most recent instance?

	Masturbate anally?  What the fuck does that mean?  A shit?  An
enema?  Street was way out of her depth on that one.  She had a lot to
learn. 

Having the answers to these questions will help me decide how to proceed
with our email exchange. Please feel free to include anything else you
feel I need to know about you (knowing one or two of your fantasies would
be helpful).  Also, include your regu lar email address. Our messages will
travel *much* faster if we use regular email, rather than the anon server. 

Write soon!

Master Chuck
**************************************************************************

	So Master Chuck was one of the guys in the truck.  I tracked him
down to a biker bar outside of Malibu. 

JAMES

Cody,
 
> First, note that what I am about to discuss with you is of a
sexualnature.  If you are simply the receiver of a cruel joke stop reading
NOW! And DELEATE this immediately! 
> 
> You have been warned.
> 

> I am a SWM 23, and a college senior in Biology.  I am also a
buddingnovelist in my spare time.  I am sure I can write you a fantasy to
meetany requirements you have.  It would really help if you were to give
me adetailed example of one of your fantasies .  If you feel
uncomfortableabout writting me one that is okay, too.  Just indicate that
in yourresponse.  If you actually want to act one of these fantasies out,
I maybe able to help it become a reality but that will require quite a bit
moredialogue befo re hand.  If you just want this to happen on internet I
amsatisfied with that.  My view is that I have a gift to write and I
mightas well use it to help people fullfill their fantasies. 
> 

> I could set you up with a fantasy of a man coming into your room
andcatching you in a shower.  Where he then takes you and duct tapes you
handto the shower head and proceeds to fuck you, first in the pussy then
theass.  If you are bisexual, your roomma te could come in and find you
andeat you out.  The men can be black or white etc.  The number can vary
anyway that you want it too, from one man to 5 or 6+.  I assume that are
somemen on campus that you have dreamed about doing this to you.  What
aretheir names (first only) and what do they look like?  The more details
youprovide me with the better I will be able to write.  Thus, the
morefullfilled you will be.  (i.e. the more wet you will become as you
readyour fantasy told through a man's eyes) 
> 
> Now for an example: (Do not read unless you are willing to be aroused)
> 
> One day after class you go to talk to Prof. Jones about your paper that
isdue.  He isn't in office so you sit down to wait.  After about 15 min.
hefinally arrives.  You start to talk about your paper and why you
recievedsuch a bad grade.  He says, "Cody , there is only one way to get a
bettergrade.  Just lift up that skirt and let me see your panties."  "Fuck
you!"you scream.  At that moment his wife walks by.  "Did you say you want
tofuck my husband?  Okay only if I get to watch." 
> 
> He grabs a hold of you and throws you on his desk.  You scream but
thebuilding is empty for the night.  His wife comes over and holds you
handsover your head.  He grabs your new silk blouse and rips it open.  He
thentakes a pair of scissors and cut off your bra.  Which his wife takes
andties your hands behind your head.  He start pulling on your nipples
andmassageing your breasts.  He the leans down and bites your nipples.... 
> 
> I will gladly finish this story for you later.
> 
> Your fantasy creator>>>>>>>

	My little girl had made a reputation for herself.

Dear James,

	I was surprised how many replies I got from that one
advertisement.  Yours, however, was the most intriguing.  So I wanted to
take some time to think before I wrote back.....

	And then she went on with the same bizarre description of herself
as before.  How she was dying to have it.  And would do anything.  What a
pig.  The police figured she had run away.  I knew she hadn't.  A part of
me wanted to believe she was still pure and innocent, but I knew she
wasn't.  And alive.  I wasn't so sure about that, either.  They said they
would call me as soon as something turned up. 

	When they found her body in the woods, they said that I had done
it; had made the whole thing up.  That I had abused her.  Several people
said I had often tied her up.  I was an abused child myself.  I would
never do that.  I said she disappeared while w e were at a mall.  I told
the truth.  I did.  Slap. 

	It's true.  When I found out what she had wrote, I beat the shit
out of her.  You wrote this, didn't you?  You liittle whore.  Wham.  I
said she was kidnapped while we were waiting at a bus stop.  I tried to
protect her. I handed the guy a hundred dollar bill.  Rose White, Red
Rose.  Her ears felt stopped up.  She began to feel the weight of the
collar.  Get it out.  It's nearly here.  Slap.  The girl went down on her
hands and knees.  She was dressed for a school play.  She crawled under
the table, hold ing up her hands.  Like smoke.  He sliced through them
like butter./ The girl crawled on the floor.  Cub scout trying to get out. 
All doors were blocked.  I brought you down here for a reason.  Felony
swung.  Someone's jaw got in the way.  Cow udders.  This time we'll use
this cow's udders.  You know what that feels like?  Street ran for the
street.  Felony was right behind her.  The blast caught her in the back. 
You're not supposed to live forever, you know.  It's got to be slow.  The
next thing you knew, they were all over the place. 

	It was just natural.  I'm just doing my job.  Wendy went down. 
Peter Pan.  And then I put this dolly in there.  Felony's daughter climbed
on top of her mother.  Barbie was going to get baCK INSIDE mUIMMY AND do
things to her inside.  He would operate at home.  It would save money. 
Street ripped the Barbie out of her mother's womb.  Like that, mummy?  Did
it hurt?  Don't cry, Mummy.  Here, I'll give Barbie back.  Felony's
screams were all over the neighborhood.  You could see the blond hair
coming out o f her slit.  It was special Olympics Barbie, but Street had
ripped off her costume and made her wear a silver dress with a pink
choker. 

It was tight.  Barbie's eyes stood out.  Barbie was chewing her way
through Felony's insides.  There was a lot of screaming and faces being
made.  Street's boy friends all fucked Felony's brains out.  The young
security agent had no defences.  Felony, I'l l get you for this, what you
did to her.  I'm clean, Sullivan.  I didn't have anything to do with it. 
I'm a good cop.  I wouldn't get mixed up in something like that.  You
ought to watch more Robocop.  See what it's like living inside a cage.  No
one liv es forever.  You're finished.  They canceled her show.  Mother
fuckers.  Try watching LAPD.  That might give you some ideas. 


Cody...Where are you located?  I am located in Central PA.

-Lou>>>>>>>>>>

                                *

Larry:

Do it woman.  Role playing and fantasy is great.  That we are all on 
here right.  It is not always easy or safe to find the right people 
to fulfill them in real life.

Larry>>>>>>>>

	Who said anything about role playing?  I wanted it real.  I just
got more than I bargained for. 

From Bob

Well, Cody, you are likely to find your mailbox jammed. I'm going to take
this at face value and answer it as best I can though there is the
distinct possibility that I'm replying to a "hacked" account. (Which is
why I preserved the post.) *Shrug*. Either way, it's possible my comments
will be thought- provoking. 

My first question would be to ask _why_ you see yourself to be a "cheap
whore" in the context of your fantasies. My second question would be if
you consider yourself to be that _outside_ of the context of your
fantasies. 

One view of these things is that some women are programmed to like certain
things, but are _also_ programmed to believe that only a whore would
_like_ those things; and _therefore_ they seek out situations where they
will be "forced" to "endure" the thing s they really want. 

So you might consider that - but don't be surprised if that doesn't change
anything, even if it rings a bell. :) Still, it's nice to know the sources
of our little quirks, because in some cases we then beat ourselves up
somewhat less. :) 

My first suggestion would be to make progress in incremental steps. For
instance, how would you feel about being considered an _expensisve_ whore?
How about being considered an _exclusive courtesan?_

Internet wise, it can be difficult to maintain anything like a realistic
situation, but then that might just be a feature in this case. I've never
tried anything like this via email, but I'd be willing to give it a shot.
What the heck. :) 

What I'll do is give you a series of fantasy "orders." Remember, this is
all in the realm of our minds, there is no need to act these out in real
life. What I want from you is your reaction to the order; how it makes you
feel. 

(Please note; you will likely get all kinds of people presuming upon you
and telling you to do all kinds of things. Keep your sense of humor about
it, trash the disgusting ones, and save any good suggestions for "later."
:) 

You get a message to meet me at a pool-hall in a dangerous area of town.
You come, knowing only that I'll be wearing a grey leather jacket with a
lock hanging from the left breast-pocket zipper. The pool hall is crowded,
but you manage to find me. My firs t action is to hand you a collar to
place around your neck, in public, with dozens of guys looking at us. 

Well, that's for openers. :)>>>>>>>>>>>

	This might have been promising, but Bob ended up getting very
iffy, as the next email shows.  It begins with a posting he found on
usenet in response to my ad: 

>Apart from the extreme unlikelihood that any respectable therapist would
suggest such a thing, note that this is the *same* address as the person
previously posting and IRCing as 'Pillow', 'Pillow Morgan', and 'Lizabeth
Kohl', who has claimed a variety o f different ages (including 17),
improbable physical descriptions, and even more improbable adventures. 
>
>Caveat responder.
>
>freep
>--
>"Not the Grapefruit!  Not the Grapefruit!"     -- Alyssa
>

Bob wrote:

In light of this, please do _not_ bother responding to my previous email,
unless you have a _very_ good explaination for this behaviour. 

An annoyed

-Bob Kxxx->

                                *

Dear Bob,

	Please don't be annoyed.  I don't know why freep behaves the way
he does.  He's such a wimp. 

	In your letter, you wanted to know why I thought of myself as a
cheap whore.  The fact is, I'm really not like that at all.  I think
there's really two me's.  One is rather prim and proper.  I wear rather
conservative clothes, at least during the day, an d I'm very much in
control of my life.  I have boy friends, but they always respect me.  The
other me is much different.  She's a tramp who wears slutty clothes and
runs around.  I dress like that sometimes and go to clubs, but I always
feel like everyone is staring at me.  The funny thing is I hate it and
like it at the same time. 

	I liked your idea about having to meet you in a poolhall.  But I
have to tell you, if someone handed me a dog collar and told me to put it
on, I'd throw it back in his face.  You have to make me put it on.  And I
will hate and fight you all the way.  That's the whole point.  It all has
to be non-consensual.  Do you think you can do that? 

	Cody>>>>>>>>>>

	But the answer to that is another story.  I have to go out now. 
I'm meeting a guy who thinks he's writing to my daughter.  I want to see
his face when I get in the car. 

Felony, Cody (Street's) mother

Chapter 1 Index Chapter 3